Having a Modest Heart

The one thing I have always felt the most uncomfortable about around my church, Christian friends, and other religious people is the way I dressed. I would be afraid that they would think what I was wearing was immodest and that I was a bad example. I mean, I never wear anything scandalous. I'm a pretty straight laced girl who really doesn't like to draw attention to herself ever. I was wearing things I thought outside of the religious setting to be perfectly acceptable, but I was questioning my outfits when I went to see these people. It was not because I thought my clothing was immodest, it was because I thought they would talk about me in a negative way. I just simply felt uncomfortable and I know I'm not alone. So, I decided to really dig into what modesty truly means and how we, as Christian girls, can obtain it with confidence.

The logical place to start is with the Word.

1 Samuel 16:7 - But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Modesty cannot be measured with a ruler. Every time I come across someone who speaks of modesty, they are looking to put an exact measurement on where your clothes should start and end. However, that is not modesty at all. Man focuses on the outward appearance  Using man's definition of modest, I would be modest simply by wearing a turtle neck and full length skirt. However, man is not the one who is judging our modesty. God is. God looks deep within our hearts to see if we are truly being modest. 

1 Timothy 2:9-10 - Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

Biblical modesty is about becoming humble. Our purpose as Christians is to not draw attention to ourselves, but let others see God through us. If I were to wear extravagant attire that covered me from the top of my neck to my ankles and walk through my school, I would not be dressing modestly. In order to be truly modest, I have to examine my heart and my motives in wearing an item of clothing. Are you wearing that outfit to get attention from a boy? Maybe you're really wanting a compliment from some of your girl friends, so you wear a dress you bought from an expensive boutique. Then, you're probably not being modest. Even if it covers you completely.  Your motives are no longer to give the glory to God but  to bring attention to yourself. Let people notice you because of what a great person you are and what you've done to make their lives better. 

There is also the age long debate on causing your brothers in Christ to lust. A lot of people put this burden on girls. It's our fault that the guys are lusting so we need to cover ourselves. While that can be true in some cases and the girl is dressing provocatively, it's a battle that needs to be fought on both sides. Guys need to avoid the thoughts and guard their minds, and girls to need to help them with that. My rule of thumb is that if a guy can look at you and see something, you're encouraging his sin. If he looks at you and everything is covered, then it's out of your control. So, just be aware of how you can be causing someone to stumble in their walk. 

Now, understand it's also important to honor your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

The solution to modesty is not wearing the same shapeless white t-shirt and jeans everyday so you do not draw attention to yourself. You have to care for your body, but just not excessively. You have to make sure you look presentable and are not drawing attention to yourself because of your lack of effort. That can also be seen as immodesty because you're not longer glorifying God with your body. He made you beautifully, so care for yourself!

 The key to modesty is within your heart and between you and God, not a ruler. Pray to God and ask Him to put modesty on your heart. You need to really consider your motives in how you are dressing. Once your heart is set on becoming a modest woman and you understand what God is asking of you, then you can dress modestly with confidence.