Learning to Let Loose

There are a few things about me that I have a love-hate relationship with. Being a perfectionist is one of them. I mean, nothing ever looks or sounds terrible because I could not present it that way. However, I give myself a headache over something and it's really not necessary. Another is that I'm pretty book smart. I love that school (thus far) has come pretty easy to me, but it also seems to intimidate some people. I literally had a girl come up to me and say, "I didn't want to talk to you because you are so smart." Uhm, thanks? And last, but not least, God made me a listener. It's a blessing and a curse in my life. If someone is really struggling with something, I am always a person who will sit and listen to their problems. I let them unleash their emotions and usually make them feel better, which I absolutely love! On the other hand, when I am with a group of people, I listen and laugh at everyone's story but I'm not one to speak up and share my own. (Unless I'm really good friends with everyone, then I just blab...)

So, as I make my departure for school in two weeks (AHHHHH!) I know this is something I need to work on. Your first week of school is all about being outgoing and socializing with people you've never met before and it honestly terrifies me. Thankfully I have already met some amazing girls (shout out to Hallie @ Lux Bulbus and Natalie @ Armed and Dangerous (; ) so the transition will not be horrible. But, I still have a lot to work on! Now that I've had the longest intro to a topic ever let's get to the nitty gritty. 

How do I become more outgoing?!

First, you have to think about why you're not outgoing already. For me, and probably most of my fellow "shy" people, is a lack of confidence. I'm always worried about what I am going to say. Like oh my gosh, what if they don't think I'm funny?! What if my story is really dumb?! Yada Yada Yada you get the picture. It has nothing to do with not loving people or being anti-social. I love love love people and learning about their stories. It's a personal issue of not putting myself out there.

My "perfectionist" trait makes it hard for me to make a fool of myself. I don't ever want to look stupid in front of people I'm just getting to know. So, this causes me to put this super boring uninteresting guard up. So, my first piece of advice for opening up is to be goofy. Reality is that you are your worst critic. If you say something dumb or do something silly, people aren't going to remember it forever and judge you. They will laugh for 2 seconds and then move on with their lives. So, don't worry about it so much! I mean, think about someone you know who has messed up and done something silly. You probably can't even think of anything! And even if you do, I bet you still think the same of them. Everyone messes up, and it's okay! So, tell that story that may be dumb or no one will understand. At least you tried. 

Another thing that holds me back is that I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy and be everyone's friend. Well, that's not going to happen. Ever. But, I used to really guard what I would say so that I would not offend anyone or pick a side/group. Where I ended up though was this grey area of all of my friendships. I didn't really have a core group to be with and I was just an acquaintance to many people. So, find some people you like and stick to them. Talk to them and don't worry about what everyone thinks. Because you're not going to make everyone happy! Just go for it!

My last piece of advice is that you need to understand it's going to be uncomfortable. The transition from being a listener to a talker is a hard one. It's going to feel unnatural at first because well, it is for you! But, stick to your guns and really put yourself out there. I guarantee people want to hear what you have to say! Especially when you're moving into your new dorm, everyone is in the same boat. It's really not a great situation for anyone, so just try to make the most of it. You don't want to look back on your college years and regret anything.